Oct 042012
 
What The Taxpayer Could Have Done With The Money. Literally.

 

Now, we have all read articles regarding what could have been done with the £94,426,217.22 Rangers Football Club stole from the taxpayer. Of course, this money could have been invested in new nurses, teachers, military equipment, anything you like really. However, I’ve decided to investigate what the taxpayers could have literally done with the physical money, so if you enjoy a laugh, and the occasional statistic, I urge you to continue reading.

Ninety four million, four hundred and twenty six thousand, two hundred and seventeen pounds, and twenty two pence. It’s quite a mouthful really. For our American readers, that equates to $152,101,750.67. In Europe, that would be €117,452,994.53. All in all, the total sum is equivalent to almost twelve billion Japanese Yen, and over three trillion (yes, trillion) Vietnamese Dong. The figure is so high that it is, in fact, more than a few very small country’s annual GDP’s (gross domestic products).

So, with such astronomical figures in question, let’s look to the stars.

If you were to take 9,442,621,722 UK pennies, which is the total Rangers owe Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs, and lay them end to end, one next to the other, they would stretch over 117,000 miles into space. To put that figure in context, that’s very nearly half way to the Moon.

However, the fun doesn’t end in the sky. Back on Earth, if you were to lay a little over ninety four million pound coins on their sides, one by one, in a line, they would cover the distance from Glasgow to Seville (over 1300 miles), with around fifty miles worth of pound coins to spare. I suppose you could use them to buy a few sangrias after making that length of journey.

Back with the pennies, Quito is the capital city of Ecuador in South America. The city’s main square can be found only miles from the Equator. Now, if you were to start placing pennies next to each other, following the Equator from Quito around the world, you would return to Quito four times as you repeatedly circumnavigated the globe, before finishing your fifth attempt around two thirds of the way around the Earth.

Think about that for a second…those pennies, all of which Rangers Football Club owe the British Taxpayer, would stretch the entire way around our planet over four and a half times!

Stacking the missing pound coins on top of each over also produces an interesting statistic, as you could create no less than thirty three piles the height of Mount Everest, and still have money left over. In context, that is the equivalent of travelling from Glasgow to Dublin, vertically.

Travelling across the water to the United States of America, let me cast your attention to one of the world’s most iconic structures, the Empire State Building. Standing at 443.2m high, from ground level to the top of it’s spire, it was the world’s tallest building for over forty years, between 1931 and 1972. Using our missing pennies, we could build the external structure of the building entirely from one pence pieces, and still have just about enough left over for another go. Our “penny” building would be entirely hollow, but nevertheless, you could build a replica of the Empire State Building out of the coins owed to the British Taxpayer by Rangers Football Club.

And now ladies and gentlemen, Bhoys, Ghirls, and zombies alike, I bring to you, la pièce de résistance. What else could you possibly build from the money owed to the British Taxpayer? What other notable structure could you produce a replica of, using only the physical money owed by Rangers Football Club?

Ibrox. Yes, Ibrox.

Not just any Ibrox though, an Ibrox stadium, with a replica façade adorning the front of the main stand constructed solely from pound coins. Sadly, the rest of the ground would have to be made from pennies, but I doubt many bears would complain, as they could have their own penny arcade at last. By my calculations, you would need a little under seventy million individual pound coins, stacked all the way along Edmiston Drive to a sufficient height in order to accomplish this feat, and the façade could only be one coin thick, but it could be done.

The rest of the stadium would be have to be hollow, but the structure itself could be replicated with around one billion one pence pieces (to the value of £10,000,000 no less). This means that the entire structure of the stadium, with a special pound coin façade, could be built for around £75 million, well within the sum of £94 million owed to the taxpayer.

Finally, with the £20 million or so remaining, you could cover the entire pitch with piles of one pence coins, with one hundred and six pence in each pile. However, that would be a waste. Perhaps those pennies could be put to better use, by covering the pitch with a layer only one coin thick, and building a statue of Craig Whyte in the middle of the field.

In all seriousness, if Rangers Football Club are found guilty (as expected) of tax evasion, it will confirm intentional criminal wrongdoing at Ibrox over the course of many years. Whilst average people, whether they support Aberdeen, Celtic, Hearts, Hibs or the new Rangers, go out to work and pay their taxes, those in charge of one of Scotland’s biggest Football Club’s clearly felt they were better than this; better than me; better than you; better than the teachers in our schools; better than the nurses in our hospitals; and better than the elderly trying to heat their homes in winter.

This superiority complex has not only led to the death of a Football Club, but to the total loss of respect of a nation for an entity which has been shown to be fatally flawed in all aspects of it’s existence.

  8 Responses to “An Easy Guide To Rangers’ Debt”

  1. hahaha.
    Superb. True and funny.
    I didn’t think you could top the A-Z blog, you just did.

    #HH lol

  2. That is a work of art Sir…
    Irony is they don’t even want to see any change as they pile on the pounds. :-)

  3. Wow…moreover, if Adam and Eve had saved a pound a week since they got together in the Garden of Eden… they still wouldn’t have anywhere near the amount that dead rangers have cheated the taxpayers out of.

    Dead rangers shame is of Biblical proportions and their entourage are are being sucked into their epic demise. Their day will come too all too soon and mark my words they shall be smitten from the news stands and their churnalist friends will be cast into the sea and their fat bloated bodies dashed onto the bampot rocks. and so forth . . .

  4. Brilliant. Put’s it all in perspective in a way that even the intellectually challenged average Sevco fan can comprehend.

    Well, maybe not…..

  5. Someone who was born at the end of the last ice-age @ 14,000 years ago (the very beginning of civilization as we know it, i.e. before farming) would have had to save around £130 every week until now to amass that amount of money.

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